Dear Friends,
Some of you know me, some of you don't, and some of you only think you know me, but do not know my true secret deep inner self. I recently wrote a personal bio for a scholarship application that may be my finest piece of writing ever. Under the inspiration of three hours of sleep and a rapidly approaching deadline I whipped this beauty together. Behold, the majesty:
To diminish the awkwardness of writing about myself I will pretend that I am the author of a wildly successful series of teen romance novels about a mummy who falls in love with a 15-year-old girl. This is the bio from the back cover of those novels.
Jamison Dance was born in California to Douglas and Nancy Dance. He and his two sisters grew up in Minnesota, land of ten thousand lakes and ten trillion mosquitos. The summers were spent on several of those lakes. The winters were spent alternately snowboarding or healing from frostbite and attending school. He was blessed with good friends within walking distance of his house. They were stalwart examples of righteousness and obedience. They helped him stay safe and bolstered his testimony.
In search of glory, he played guitar in a rock and roll band named The Goodsman Brothers. In search of manliness he ran cross country in his last two years of high school.
Either because of his guitar prowess or his short running shorts, he attracted the attentions of one Elizabeth Bradshaw. They courted for a year and he went off to BYU. He discovered that he was not as smart as he though he was, and that he loved Elizabeth. She discovered that she loved Jamison despite the hundreds of men swarming around her while Jamison was gone.
He served two years as a missionary in Maceió, Brazil. There he learned once more that he was not as smart as he though he was. He also learned that he was just smart enough to see miracles happen. He returned in the summer of 2008, and the next year he and Elizabeth was married. He currently lives in Provo, Utah, where he studies bioinformatics and prepares to attend medical school.
Did you catch the subtle Twilight reference? That is a complex literary device that is guaranteed to blow minds at the scholarship office.
Hahaha... I love it. I feel like I know you so much better now. I would instantly grant you the scholarship if it were up to me.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! The Twilight reference is what sold me. I'm sure that will bring in the money; after all it worked for Stephanie Meyer.
ReplyDeleteI am sure your literary skills are as good as Meyer but you can put your mind to better use (maybe not as lucrative) when studying medicine. Including Elizabeth in the medicine career sounds brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am a fan. and I learned (or else was refreshed on something I already knew, but forgot) that Jamsion has California roots. That explains so may things and keeps the in-law record intact (well except for Chris--he has no California connections that I am aware of, but I definitely am not as smart as I thought I was). I am smart enough however to recognize the blessing it is to have Jamison as part of our family!
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